Pure Snow
by SilverRay
Summary: The feeling of lonliness never leaves. All they ever wanted was to see each other.


Pure Snow _**_ _The snow dancing, falling in this city, I sighed at the white sky_ _**_ Snow, so lovely. Softly snow drifted down, flake by flake, gently falling upon the earth. One bit, a piece of heaven falling to the earth, blessing it for a brief moment with hope. She stood there turning her ocean blue eyes upon a sure sign of winter. Beautiful, gorgeous, words could not describe the way each one danced through the air in their own special costumes. A sigh touched her lips briefly as she turned away to walk down the street, melting into the world of people. The crowd soon engulfed her and she joined the crowd. _**_ _Why my heart feels the warmness when I think about you_ _**_ Slowly she closed the door behind her letting her back rest upon it for a moment. So this was life now. On this day when people were happy, expecting Christmas presents beneath their tree the next day. No she was alone on this day. Two years of being alone without another gift. Gone, all so fast. She pulled off her jacket and laid it on the couch. She laid down upon the couch with nothing to do. Just the memory of him warmed her heart. She always knew that he would be there for her and then…then this happened. 

**_**_**

**_I had always watched you even in this crowd, looking at the clothes across the window_**

**_**_**

They had promised to be friends. She knew it ripped her heart apart whenever she saw them together but she had smiled for him. He didn't know what to say. He still hadn't been able to work up the courage to ask and here he was, holding someone else in his arms. How it must hurt her soul. She had always been smiling, always different. He had watched her from afar in the beginning back when they were in school. But when she had caught up with him four years ago she had asked him how he was doing and if he was still the loner type avoiding everyone. His eyes fell upon a store window. He didn't know why but he stopped walking, the snow drifting around him. It looked a lot like the dress that she had been wearing at that party. The memory was still fresh in his mind. She had looked so beautiful there.

**_**_**

**_Though having no intention to buy, I think that cloth fits you well_**

**_**_**

Usagi absentmindedly watched the TV holding a cup of tea in her hands. She was half aware of the commercials that flashed by the screen. Her mind drifted to the pretty woman that had been there. She had never deserved his love so what was the point in dreaming? They had always been together and that slight small shimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe they could be together, that small childish crush on him still lingered from the days when they were in school. When she had found him walking on the streets of the town she had felt her heart jump. But now…they deserved each other.  __

**_**_**

**_I'm so foolish, the model is no longer popular_**

**_**_******

Hiiro looked away from the store window. It didn't matter, he shouldn't dwell on past memories. He had learned long ago that emotions were useless but of course he had tossed all common sense out the window. Now he was feeling the after affects. She loved someone else, it didn't matter. Life was over with but he always took a hold of the little bit of hope there was in the world. It never hurt to hope that one day she would turn her gaze upon him again. Wishful thinking but of course. He wondered what she was doing at this moment. Most likely celebrating the holidays with her husband…if they were wed. 

**_**_**

**_I understand that you are my friend's lover, but I can't help falling for you_**

**_**_**

"Hiiro-kun, it's nice to see you. Atashi wa Tsukino Usagi."

The golden haired girl had walked up uninvited to the boy standing on the street. He stared at her, his gaze emotionless but she smiled nonetheless. Just to have this chance to see him, to be with him. She had totally forgotten that her former friend was totally in love with him. Well that was two years ago though. "How long are you going to be in town?" the girl asked not really expecting a response. 

Of course she didn't get one. "Are you and Ririna…going out or something? I remember she used to have a crush on you."

The boy nearly tripped and fell but didn't. She took that as a no. "So how have you been lately?" 

"hn."

"Travel anywhere?"

"hn"

"Well aren't we talkative."

"hn

"Anyways I guess I'll be seeing you around," she had no idea what else to do with the boy he certainly wasn't the best conversationalist she had ever met. Without waiting for the boy to say anything she left, disappearing into the crowds. 

"Bye," the Japanese boy stared at the place in which she had disappeared from for a moment before leaving himself. (age: 22)  ****

**_**_**

**_Can't be helped, it is alright if you laugh at me, but this feeling is important for me_**

**_**_**

She shoved the last textbook into her book bag and zipped it up. Hoisting the backpack upon shoulder she kicked her locker shut since she was in such a hurry. It was the last day of school before break and nothing could ruin her mood. That was until she was roughly shoved into the lockers. "Hey look at her size, what is she, a freshman?" the older boy began to laugh. 

"Jadeite, that wasn't nice," another boy smirked. "Neflyte, won't you agree that she is a pretty find?" The black haired boy laughed. 

"I would think so," the older red haired boy leaned closer to the girl and she backed herself away from him as much as she could. "Kawaii," he breathed. 

Another boy began laughing. Another voice joined in. "now if Neflyte is gone over her we know she's special," a boy with long white hair dared to have his hand linger near the girl's face. As soon as it did touch her face the older boy was roughly shoved out of the way by a black blur. Usagi plastered herself even more to the lockers as if they would protect her as each boy was knocked down. Eventually it was just her and her savior standing in the hall. 

"Daijoubu deska?" the boy asked. His black backpack had been tossed carelessly to the side. 

"Hai…daijoubu," Usagi replied. "arigatoo…Hiiro-san." 

The boy merely grunted and went to retrieve his backpack. He muttered something that sounded remotely like "anything for you."

**_**_**

**_Pure Snow Pure Heart, snow also fell the day we met for the first time_**

**_**_**

"AH! Mako-chan SAVE ME!" Usagi helplessly skated right into another wall. She groaned as she pulled herself to her feet. She could hear her friends laughing but it mattered naught to her. She was so used to it. She pushed away from the wall and began skating once more. The skating ring was actually fairly small since it was outdoors. It was almost directly underneath Tokyo Tower on this November day. She had to admit that she was having fun. 

She was gaining speed pretty quickly and she was flying past everyone at the ring. "Be careful Usagi!" she could hear Ami cry.

"Odango-atama you're going to-" 

Too Late

The golden haired girl let out a short scream as she tripped over the short wall. It was tall enough to stop her normally but not this time. She shrieked as she was tossed right into the air. She hit something rather, someone. After a moment she had heard a grunt from beneath her and remembered to move. "AH gomen nasai!" She scrambled off the poor unfortunate soul who had become her landing pad. 

Another grunt. 

"Aw come on Hiiro, a babe just came flying out of the sky land on you. You've got to be the luckiest guy on the planet. Probably an angel falling out of the sky to-"

"Omae o koruso." 

"Fine, fine be that way. Hey can I have your number?" Duo asked. 

"Ano…" Usagi didn't say anything. She turned to look at the Japanese boy again. "Gomen!" she said once more. 

"Miss it's quite alright! Hiiro's actually survived a car crash…more like a few."

Usagi stopped bowing in apology and stared at the boy. "How bad of a driver are you?" 

"Usagi-chan!" The golden haired girl turned to see her friends running to aid her. "You're ALIVE!" Minako bounced over to where Usagi stood staring at the Japanese boy. "I think you've had enough ice skating." The blond grabbed hold of the golden haired girl's shoulders. "Gomen for her crash landing. Usagi-chan I know you're a klutz like me but that was extreme. Maybe you should become a stunt devil."

"Minako-chan," Usagi hissed.

As the chattering blond began to lead the girl away. Usagi turned back to look at the three boys as the first flakes of snow began drifting down from the sky.     

**_**_**

**_It really hurts, the purest feeling of love_**

**_**_**

She pulled her knees to her chest as she stared out the window. A pain gripped her heart. Why her? Why this? What did she do to deserve this pain? Six years…her world had been shattered, it had been pieced together. Then after the final pieces to the broken glass vase had been glued together it had been broken again.  She blankly watched the snow drift down from the sky. She sat there for a moment longer before she stood up and walked over to the balcony and slid the door open. She stood out in the cold winter air as she let the snow rain down upon her. She didn't feel the cold though. She felt empty. Two years, it could have been two hundred to her. She wouldn't have known the difference. Life was cruel and harsh and evil.

_**_

**_I can feel my destiny_**

**_**_**

Nothing more to say, nothing more to do. Here he was wandering around aimlessly. Almost aimlessly. He stopped walking for a moment letting the snow drift by at its quick pace as if it had somewhere it needed to be desperately at this moment. The snow did but not him. He had no where to be, he belonged no where. When was the last time he belonged somewhere? Probably never. He didn't know anything anymore. Life was a tangled spider web. He was caught, lost within it. Now what would he do? He continued walking. His feet crunched upon the snow. Slowly he walked as people rushed by, arms layered with shopping bags as they rushed to finished their holiday shopping. He had no one to shop for, nothing to receive on this holiday. 

**_**_**

**_Though it was a joke, but all she said was the pride of herself_**

**_**_**

"Quatre-kun this is so cool!" Usagi stared at the room she was in. Everything was done up for the holidays. A smile had planted itself almost permanently on her face. Her eyes scanned the room. A few familiar faces dotted it here and there. "How long did it take to prepare everything? It's so pretty!" 

The blond Arabian scratched his head for a moment. "You know I'm not sure…" 

"Doesn't matter, Mako-chan look at that cake!" Usagi pointed to the chocolate cake and couldn't help but feel a little bit hungry. 

"I know this song!" Minako cried as she listened to a piano playing not too far away. "It's one of my favorite. Haha (my mother) used to sing it all the time! Let me find someone to dace with!" Soon the blond had disappeared into the crowd. 

Rei looked around for a moment. "Quatre-kun is the Tenoh Haruka playing the piano?" she asked. "Was Minako-chan's favorite song Rain Tree? I would remember this from anywhere. Oh look! It's a Casablanca!"

"Where did Ami-chan go?" Usagi asked.

"She said something about looking at the Christmas tree," Quatre shook his head. "Usagi-chan I have to go now…someone wants me over there. I'll see you later."  

Within seconds she was alone. She didn't know what to do so she went straight towards the food table. After a while she could amuse herself with eating one of everything they had so she had resorted to standing in a corner watching people she knew and people she didn't know walk by. She couldn't find any way to talk to the people she did know. They weren't really her friends and as far as she was concerned they were merely acquaintances. "Looking for someone?" someone questioned. Usagi turned around to see Mamoru. "So Usagi you're a sophomore now?"

"I don't mean to be rude Mamoru-san, demo why would it concern you?" Usagi questioned.

The older boy didn't say anything for a long moment. "Bored?" he questioned. 

"I suppose so."

"Hiiro-san do you want to dance?" 

"hn…"

The Japanese boy looked away from the thorn. He was sure he had seen Minako and Makoto around…just where was Usagi? His eyes scanned around the room, falling upon the food table. No golden haired girl stood there trying one of everything, four of everything she liked. His eyes continued to roam around the room. Eventually he spotted the girl. She had her back resting against the wall talking to someone beside her. 

She looked beautiful in the dress she was wearing. It was white with a hinting of silver with it. It was simple but simplicity merely made her even more beautiful. He shook his head. No he shouldn't be thinking about that sort of stuff. 

"Ririna-chan!" he snapped out of his thoughts to see the spot where Usagi had been standing at vacant. He turned around to see Usagi talking to Ririna. Ririna wore a fancy, yet complex blue dress. She was whispering something to the golden haired girl. Usagi giggled a little bit. He couldn't hear what they were speaking about. Ririna smiled. It was…annoying not know what they were whispering about. 

"Usako! So that's where you went. You could have told me." 

The golden haired girl spun around to snap at the intruding person only to have her mouth stop moving. "Surprised? Care to dance now?" 

"Iie-" her words fell to death ears as suddenly the older boy grasped her arm in his hand and pulled her towards where everyone was dancing. 

"Ririna…" the Japanese boy almost growled grabbing the other girl's arm ignoring the tint that covered her face. Usagi bit her lip and looked away trying to keep away the pain that had began to eat her heart apart. She turned her head away and vowed to try as best as she could to still remain friends with Ririna.      

**_**  
It is painful being alone, but wearing this friendship mask is really tough_**

**_**_**

"Usagi which one do you think looks better? This one or this one?" 

The golden haired girl sat quietly on the bed as her friend held two different dresses in front of her. "The blue. Blue looks good on you Ririna-chan," she forced a smile knowing that Ririna was going to go out on a date with Hiiro. She looked away as the other girl dashed into the bathroom to dress. Why did it have to end up like this? Damn that Mamoru. If he hadn't been there she would have had a chance with Hiiro. It tore her apart seeing Ririna and the boy together. Why did they have to fall in love with the same person? 

The other girl came walking out of the bathroom. "How do I look?" she questioned. 

"Nice."

Ririna led the other girl out of the room by her hand. She was chatting away mercilessly about what they were going to do for the date. As soon as they reached the bottom of the stairs the doorbell rang. "Toosan I'm going out!" Ririna cried into the deep reaches of the house. Her dad said something in acknowledgement. The girl jumped for joy for a brief moment before opening the door. "Hiiro-kun!" she squealed. 

"Ririna."

**

**_Why it must be you, the one I can't reach_**

**_**_**

"Hiiro."

"Usagi." 

****__**

**_It tears me apart, breaks me into pieces just to think of you_**

**_**_**

She shook her head slowly. So this is what life was now. A few months after the Holiday Party at Quatre's house Ririna and Hiiro broke up. The girl had been virtually heart broken and Usagi had tried to comfort her friend. But as much as she was angry at Ririna for taking away Hiiro she was mad at the Japanese boy for crushing the girl. No matter what Ririna had done, she had vowed to still be friends. She absentmindedly traced her finger through the snow that had built up on the railing letting it freeze her fingers for a moment. About a month after he had broken up with Ririna…if they were even really dating, she had found the courage to ask him to dance at another one of Quatre's parties. Ririna had been absolutely furious. They had never spoken with each other again after that. So _this _was the price of falling in love. Pain that raked at your heart and tore your soul apart. 

**_**_**

**_During those time, a picture always strengthens me_**

**_**_**

He couldn't even begin to ask why he had broken her heart by pulling her best friend to him. What had he wished to achieve? He wanted to inflict as much pain as she had when she had taken that other boy's hand to dance. Then he had left her friend and watched as the golden haired girl try to heal her friend. It didn't matter in the end, he had torn the two apart, further than any death could. The boy stopped and stared at his quickly fading foot prints. Snow hastily went to work, covering each and every trace of his presence, is if to rid him from the world. Shortly after he had left Ririna, fed up with trying to inflict pain upon the golden haired girl she had went to ask him to dance. After all he had tried to do to hurt her. He had wrenched the girls further apart. He had to admit he had felt guilty, watching the girl he had fallen for force a smile upon her lips so he wouldn't feel so bad. She had left his fingertips so fast.

**

**_Pure Snow Pure Heart, if only I got more courage that day_**

**_**_**

"It's beautiful isn't it?" she asked trying to catch a falling snowflake in her hand only to have it melt. A smile crossed her lips briefly. "What do _you _think?"

"Hn…"

A giggle escaped her throat. "Hiiro I know you can speak more that that." 

He let his bare hand rest upon her cheeks, warming the cold skin. She smiled, her golden pig tails brushing against his hand. She smiled for him, she smiled like this for him and him alone. 

**

**_Pure Snow Pure Heart, if only I got more courage that day_**

**_**_**

"Usagi…"

"hm?"

His fingertips still rested upon her cold cheeks, red from the cold. She cocked her head to the side, leaning into his touch a little more. Content. She was absolutely content, a happy expression upon her face. When she was happy, he was happy. Something gently tugged upon his heart. He turned his gaze down away from her face for a moment. He lifted his head once more and captured her lips in a haste kiss.

**_**_**

**_With the spirit of winter, I thought I could do it_**

**_**_**

"Hiiro." 

Her voice had been even more content than she appeared to be. He nodded slowly. He wanted to say it, wished to say it. In two simple words he could explain how much he cared about her, how he made her feel. Everything fell into two simple words…three in English. Of course there were many long ways to say it but it was simple. So simple. And yet…it was so impossible.

****__**

**_But why I couldn't say it_**

**_**_**

Christmas Eve. Be happy, show her how much you cared for her. It was so simple. "Usagi…"

"hm?"

"Ai…I.." Great save Hiiro, great. Simple, simple words. Why was the task so difficult? "I think that…" A worried expression passed over her face. Worried? Why should she be worried? He was trying desperately to tell her how much he cared for her. Was something wrong with his tone? Something was. 

"I don't think that we should see each other anymore."

He watched as tears flooded the girl's eyes, they were there but none fell. What had he just said? "Doushite?" she questioned. 

No words passed. Her face crumbled even more and he watched as she fled. He made no move to go after her, to correct his mistake. He merely turned and left another way. 

**

**_Pure Snow Pure Heart, I won't regret having to cry those times_**

**_**_**

Tears…if Ririna could have witnessed that scene she would have most likely laughed at her. The snow seemed to fall harder, as if the skies were weeping with her. "Kaasan I'm home!" she called not even waiting for her mother to say anything before dashing hastily up the stairs. 

"Usagi, where's Hiiro-kun? I thought you were going to take him here for dinner with us…"

A sob escaped her throat and she shook her head. "Usagi are you all-"

Her bedroom door slammed shut and sobs began to rack through her body as she slowly lowered herself to the floor. So this is what it felt like to have a broken heart.

****__**

**_Obviously I try to look strong, I will always wait_**

**_**_**

Silence…if any of his friends were here, they would have laughed at him for pure stupidity. How had he managed to say the complete opposite of what he wanted to. The heavens seemed to scream at him in fury, angry that he had wounded their angel. He sat staring out the window in silence. 

"Hiiro, why are you here? I thought you were going to have dinner with Usagi's family and…"

A growl escaped his throat and he glared fiercely at the blond Arabian. "Hiiro is something-"

His feet stormed angrily out of the room leaving no time for the boy to reply. He found himself outside once more staring into the snow. So this is what it felt like to have an aching heart. 

****__**

**_The day you'll understand me_**

**_**_**

"Hiiro…"

"Usagi…"

**

**_Pure Snow Pure Heart, snow also fell the day we met for the first time_**

**_**_**

'_Hiiro! hurry up, I wanna go ice skating!' _

'_Oh? Remember how we met?'_

_'Shut up.' _

Could he face her now after he ripped her heart into shreds? He stared up at the apartment complex. Six years had passed since they had first met. Time passed so quickly. He had almost turned around and left. _Almost _but didn't. He pushed through the snow and walked up to the door of the apartment complex, feeling his heart beating furiously in his chest. He would try, he had to. He didn't want her to be gone from his life forever. 

**

**_It really hurts, the purest feeling of love_**

**_**_**

'_The snow looks really pretty doesn't it?'_

_'Oh! You finally said something. Good job Hiiro.'_

_'hn.'_

She stepped away from the balcony. No use dwelling on the past. But still she couldn't help but remember all those happy times, those moments when she could have claimed she was already in heaven. She was twenty two now…how fast time had left her. She slid the door shut and rested her head against the cold glass. Would she ever see him again? Most likely not. He had probably gone back to Ririna or fallen in love with some other girl. He was probably living a happy life while-

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. "Coming," she called.

****__**

**_I can feel my destiny_**

**_**_**

"Hiiro?"

"Usagi."

ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ End ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ ђψ

^^ 12:04 am

I admit I mentioned it as _Christmas_ Eve and not like the first day of Hanukkah or Kwanzaa but still, Happy Holidays. I know it's a bit early for christmas but I won't be here or more specifically I won't be able to post it on Christmas Day or Eve depending on my mood. So just smile and nod your head and be happy. Happy Holidays.  


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